


Denial

by positivelypitch



Series: The 5 Stages of SMP Grief [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Denial, Dream Smp, Spoilers for Tommy's Mach 1st Stream, Tubbo doesn't know how to emotion, grieving tubbo, no beta we die like tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:43:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelypitch/pseuds/positivelypitch
Summary: Tubbo sitting by Tommy's grave after his funeral, talking through his emotions with... well, no response.AKA the Angst no one asked for but we all secretly need.I sort of just stood back from it all, watching. It felt weird talking to you with everyone else there. So, um, sorry about that. But I’m here now.I saw them put you in the ground, Tommy. I know you’re gone, I know you’re gone.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: The 5 Stages of SMP Grief [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192514
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Denial

Hey Tommy.

We had your funeral today.

A lot of people came to pay their respects, talk to you, lay flowers on your grave that kind of thing. That was nice, that they did that for you. 

I sort of just stood back from it all, watching. It felt weird talking to you with everyone else there. So, um, sorry about that. But I’m here now. 

Sam stayed for a pretty long time, sitting where I’m sitting now, looking at your grave. I don’t think he realised I was listening, or wanted anyone to hear, but he was blaming himself. He kept saying he was sorry over and over until Puffy put her hand on his shoulder and took him home.

Sam Nook hasn’t been at the hotel in a while. Or Dad.

Ant and Bad were sniggering the entire time. And I couldn’t even get mad because I half expected you to pop out from behind the gravestone and start swearing at Bad, to piss him off yourself. 

You didn’t.

But Quackity told them to get lost so I guess that’s close enough.

The truth is I still can’t get my head round it, Tommy. It doesn’t make sense. There has to be a reason for your death, there  _ has _ to be. Because it wasn’t- wasn’t  _ grand _ enough.  _ Mainstream  _ enough, for you Tommy. You deserve to go out with a bang.

No, no, you don’t deserve to die at all… 

I saw them put you in the ground, Tommy. I know you’re gone, I know you’re gone. 

You’re gone. 

...

You know, not so long ago you gave up your disks because you thought it would save my life. I thought I was a goner, I really did, but you wouldn’t accept it. You would have stayed with me until the end. 

And yet  _ you _ died alone.

Brutally.

I would have liked to have been that source of comfort for you, the way you were for me. 

I should have- 

I mean I couldn’t but I should have tried…

  
  
  


I feel like I should be breaking down and sobbing, or avenging your death and being furious at Dream, but I just… hate him. And even that feels dull and uncomfortable. 

There's no relief, no comfort in hate. 

I’ve decided I’m in denial, because if I’m not, it means I’m not grieving you. And that I don’t miss you. But I do. 

I just don’t feel...

I’m just- 

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 1 of my 5 Stages of Grief Series!
> 
> It will be going through different characters and how they process their grief for Tommy.
> 
> It wont be completely in order of the stages because it isn't about one character alone.
> 
> Next Story: AwesamDude - Depression, and Captain Puffy - Bargaining


End file.
